Gay spirituality has been long sought and hard fought. Let’s face it, a large percentage of us grew up in churches that condemned us. It is completely common to go through a strong questioning period where spiritual answers seem out of reach and you end up looking for some sort of confirmation. The problem is that there is no actual confirmation, but the journey is still well worth it.

Most of us started on our journey when we were young. Sometimes we didn’t even realize that the words we heard cut so deeply because they were actually about us. Sometimes we did.

As time went on many of us started searching outside the church for answers. Social justice and a strong desire to move our community into the light became more of our church than the buildings with pastors and priests.

There are all kinds of ways that one may try to find spiritual answers. When gay spirituality was first even mentioned, there was no such thing as an open and affirming church. Instead, there were a few select individuals who saw the plight of our spiritual journey and went out of their way to reach out to the community. Some turn toward that effort and others still turn away, looking for validation in the eyes of their childhood church.

For those of us that were born in very religious or religiously strict families, the spiritual journey can be difficult and even painful. The idea that we could pray ourselves straight of that the head of the church could “fix us” was not only uninformed, but outright damaging to a young person’s self image. There will probably never be an admission from such churches that their practices were damaging, and looking for one will not lead to the confirmation you want.

You do not have to go to an organized church or even claim a religion in order to mark your spiritual journey. You are able to move through your questions and find your own answers whether it be through actual religious study or it becomes more of a silent quest along the beach. However you go about looking for your spiritual self you are simply not alone. The truth is that the GLBT community has been hit rather hard when it comes to spiritual acceptance, which is why it is important to understand what you want from your journey.

Historically, religions and spirituality do not even have to mean the same thing. While we make the associated connection, spiritual beliefs are of a totally different make and model. Religion is a taught belief system. Spiritual beliefs are a felt and internal belief system. Bringing the two together can be an interesting challenge but one that can be done in your own way. Having the option to figure out what works for you is really the key.

You can join the open and affirming churches and learn to grasp your gay spirituality if you choose. It can be a great place to debate and discuss. Or you can create your own private moments that offer you a reflective chance to decide for yourself. The journey simply never really has to end.

Howie Holben thoughts on gay spirituality. Spirit Journeys has concentrated spiritual travel since the early 1990′s. They plan special spiritual journeys for gay men.